You are most definitely NOT a burden. It might feel like it now. Maybe someone even told you that you are. I promise you arent. Hold a pillow tight tonight, put on some positive music, and rest well.
Hold on my fellow mental health warriors, for this bad time will pass.
^13 Years old, with bad Anorexia.
^15 at healthy weight
^16 starting to fill into my body
^Me at 20 years old, healthy physically
What do all these pictures have in common? They are all me. I started to restrict when I was 10 years old. It started at school, then progressed to at home. 13 years old, I was under 90 pounds. Very malnourished at one point so terrified to even drink water. The next picture is me at 15, I was generally healthy. I was a late bloomer, with growing into my body. I was a runner, I excersized ALOT. I was always in the gym before or after therapy, and every chance I got. Though I was healthy, my eating disorder thoughts drifted into my thoughts once in a while. The next picture is me again at 16 years old. I had finally gotten a chest, not large but one. I was working out alot still, not loving my body because of my body growing. I didnt have a father to show me the right way a guy should treat me. I was in and out of abusive relationships with girls, also hung out with boys that only wanted me for sex. Growing up with sexual abuse was hard to deal with, the fact that I didnt know who to date, or how I should be treated was very hard. The last picture is of me today, my body has fully grown into my 20 year old body. I have eating disorder thoughts but at this point being able to push them out of my head is easier.
Im here to tell you girls, that your body will change. You will grow into your chest, your period will come (youll probably hate it). Love your body, to love someones body closely enough to touch you have to love yours. Hug yourself.
Keep strong my fellow mental health worries
Alot of places take visitors phones away so they can’t take pictures of other patients. My mom took this picture of me in a psychiatric hospital, at 15 years old, 5 years ago. I was on a 1:1, that means I was in a arms reach of a staff every second of the day. Yes, that includes the bathroom. The shower curtain had to be open, they had to feel how warm the water was to make sure it wasnt ‘to hot’. Life in a psychiatric hospital isnt what people think of. Its not what the ‘institutions’ we see in the Movies or on the Tv show ‘American Horror Story’. You are on a schedule, you get up and go to bed at a set time. You are given your medications by a nurse. You have groups all through out the day. Its not glorious, but its not the worst place to be either.
Just remember that your there to get help, and that not everything will be easy. That getting healthly is worth it.
Keep it up mental health warriors!!
There are many ways you can go about this, the one I like the most is to tell your parent/guardian that you would like to talk. Set a time, If they work putting a time that’s after or before they go to work. That’s if they already know that you are struggling and that you just want to update them, I find this also helpful to tell them if this is a time that you just want to talk for the first time “(insert name like mom or someone), I would like to sit down and talk about something on my mind tonight or tomorrow morning before you go to work.” Sometimes parents/guardians can get a little anxious and curious. If your a parent reading this, DONT PUSH. For the teens reading this, just reassure them that during the time you set up that you will discuss it, and that it isn’t anything right now that they can do. Unless your in danger, then contact someone, whether that’s a crisis line like I have on my page. Sometimes a therapist, or psychiatrist can direct you in a better direction, or social worker.
Sometimes situations come up with out a warning:
When this happens, easier said than done try to stay calm as much as you can. If you can identify warning signs you can get help sooner. If its 2 or 3am in the morning, and your freaking out and you don’t want to call a suicide hotline or 911 without your parents/guardian knowing? Knock on their door. Wait for a answer, go in. Wake them up. Let them know what is going on, maybe they can help you decide if going to the ER is necessary, if so its going to be ok. PARENTS: PLEASE DO NOT FREAK OUT, IT IS THE WORST THING THAT YOU CAN DO!!!
Can’t find words to tell them?
We all know we get head blocked when your in the moment and you CAN’T think. Write it down, it gives you time to think about what you need to talk about, what’s bothering you and what exactly needs to be said. Type it and print it, Type it and email it. Or just write it down. Handing them something because you cant think of everything RIGHT THEN doesn’t mean that its wrong, your still expressing what you need them to know.