You are most definitely NOT a burden. It might feel like it now. Maybe someone even told you that you are. I promise you arent. Hold a pillow tight tonight, put on some positive music, and rest well.
Hold on my fellow mental health warriors, for this bad time will pass.
^13 Years old, with bad Anorexia.
^15 at healthy weight
^16 starting to fill into my body
^Me at 20 years old, healthy physically
What do all these pictures have in common? They are all me. I started to restrict when I was 10 years old. It started at school, then progressed to at home. 13 years old, I was under 90 pounds. Very malnourished at one point so terrified to even drink water. The next picture is me at 15, I was generally healthy. I was a late bloomer, with growing into my body. I was a runner, I excersized ALOT. I was always in the gym before or after therapy, and every chance I got. Though I was healthy, my eating disorder thoughts drifted into my thoughts once in a while. The next picture is me again at 16 years old. I had finally gotten a chest, not large but one. I was working out alot still, not loving my body because of my body growing. I didnt have a father to show me the right way a guy should treat me. I was in and out of abusive relationships with girls, also hung out with boys that only wanted me for sex. Growing up with sexual abuse was hard to deal with, the fact that I didnt know who to date, or how I should be treated was very hard. The last picture is of me today, my body has fully grown into my 20 year old body. I have eating disorder thoughts but at this point being able to push them out of my head is easier.
Im here to tell you girls, that your body will change. You will grow into your chest, your period will come (youll probably hate it). Love your body, to love someones body closely enough to touch you have to love yours. Hug yourself.
Keep strong my fellow mental health worries
Alot of places take visitors phones away so they can’t take pictures of other patients. My mom took this picture of me in a psychiatric hospital, at 15 years old, 5 years ago. I was on a 1:1, that means I was in a arms reach of a staff every second of the day. Yes, that includes the bathroom. The shower curtain had to be open, they had to feel how warm the water was to make sure it wasnt ‘to hot’. Life in a psychiatric hospital isnt what people think of. Its not what the ‘institutions’ we see in the Movies or on the Tv show ‘American Horror Story’. You are on a schedule, you get up and go to bed at a set time. You are given your medications by a nurse. You have groups all through out the day. Its not glorious, but its not the worst place to be either.
Just remember that your there to get help, and that not everything will be easy. That getting healthly is worth it.
Keep it up mental health warriors!!
Suicide Text line
[They don’t automatically call 911, and send them to your house]
741-741 [Text HELP]
Suicide Call Line
Transgender Suicide Call line
Lesbian/gay/bisexual/questioning suicide call line
[Other wise known as the Trevor project]
Sexual assault/abuse call hotline
Mental health WARM line
[Before a suicide, you can call to just talk and someone is there 24/7]
Mental health/Suicide Online chat line they cant find your GPS coordinates, chat with a crisis councilor on line
If you, or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves or someone else. Please don’t wait call 911, or go to your local ER